I earned this girl My mother is sure that I got this one to make up for my excessively naughty years. Considering the fact that those years have not and will likely not end any time soon, I'm in trouble. If my mother is right, this one will keep me up nights... forever.
Not long after her little brother was born, I took some photos of the kids together in my mom's garden. It's a grandma's garden filled with heirloom blooms and bright red poppies.
I blew a photo up to frame and noticed that Molly's chin had a little discoloration and seemed a little swollen on one side. I figured it was just a normal Mojo smudge. The kid is always dirty. But, when I looked more closely it looked very much not like a smudge.
Long story short, she had a tumor on her chin. Benign and non-threatening, but still alarming because of how large it was.
She has now been through multiple surgeries to remove it without terribly scarring or stretching. She is so fair that the red scar is quite noticeable and it bothers her much of the time. I struggle with the fact that she feels imperfect. Because, while naughty and sassy, she is really as perfect as they come. She has the most amazing row of darling freckles across her nose and cheekbones.
This morning I went in to wake her up. I sat on the bed next to her and tickled her until she laughed. When she smiled and the skin tightened around her cheeks and chin I noticed that the tumor had returned and was growing on both sides of her little red scar. My heart broke.
I can handle a lot. I have handled a lot personally. But, I don't handle my children suffering well. And, this one can't be solved easily. I'd take the last 18 months of cancer, chemo, radiation, and fear all over again to spare her from this thing that makes her sad and insecure.
What mother wouldn't?
This morning I went in to wake her up. I sat on the bed next to her and tickled her until she laughed. When she smiled and the skin tightened around her cheeks and chin I noticed that the tumor had returned and was growing on both sides of her little red scar. My heart broke.
I can handle a lot. I have handled a lot personally. But, I don't handle my children suffering well. And, this one can't be solved easily. I'd take the last 18 months of cancer, chemo, radiation, and fear all over again to spare her from this thing that makes her sad and insecure.
What mother wouldn't?
1 comments:
Woman, you are the strongest gal I know and in that I also know your strength comes from a deep sense of unconditional love for those you cherish most. I've seen you cry more my pain than for your own. I cannot imagine the heart pain that most likely feels physical when you think of Ms Molls next many-a-month. But...she is cut from the same sassy cloth so resilience (and naughty) is her middle name. You got this one. She's perfect. As are you. Love you more than you know.
Post a Comment