So, tomorrow turned in to the day after the day after the day after tomorrow. It's cool though, no one is really reading this yet so who give s a poop?
It's actually a good thing that I didn't post for a few days because I had a new awesome addition that is totally fitting for the second half of my villains post.
I've been consulting for a company for the last ten months. I stepped in to help them build their brand, tell their story, and help their customers connect with them. It was no easy task. The owners all played creative director here and there. They spent three times what they should have because they would not focus. I should have stepped away as soon as I was finished delivering the brand and marketing strategy. I stayed. Easy money, what can I say. But the last three months have been torture.
One of the owners has turned in to a the micro-manager from the deepest darkest depths of shitty boss hell. He doesn't just follow up on things here and there, he follows up on everything and peppers me and everyone else with texts and calls and emails at all hours of the day and night. Yesterday I was out with my kids and he shot multiple texts at me about something completely trivial. He was annoyed that my answers came several minutes after his questions and he let me know it. I finally just asked him why he didn't have anything better to do with his time because I was out enjoying the beautiful day with my kids and I really had no intention of doing a moment of work on my Saturday. I didn't stop there.
I explained to him in a very strongly worded response that it has been a challenge to work with him because he does not trust others and because he never seems to be busy doing anything productive. He spends a lot of time bouncing from office to office talking to the few of us at the company about what we're doing every day. He sucks up hours of my time discussing things that have nothing to do with him. I believe that he simply does not know how to do what he has to do to make his company a success. This is a brand new company. He believes that running it requires him to be on top of every little teeny tiny detail. Unfortunately, this is the thing that will likely assist in his failure faster than anything else. You must trust the people you hire to do the work you pay them to do. Great managers participate but not in the minutia.
He's kind of an asshat, this guy. He's erratic and unpredictable on his good days. And, on his bad days he just doesn't show. He may be there, but he doesn't do anything. This is the guy who asked if we could change our logo two months in to shipping product. Ummm, dude, the answer is hell no. He demanded that we explore options anyway. Guess what? 25k later we stuck with the original logo. Did I say asshat? It's a way better word than douche. It's funnier. I've called him captain doucheypants for the last several months. But, asshat is my new favorite. I so deserve a better villain. Someone a little more interesting anyway. He bores me.
The last bit of this tale of shitty villains is rather funny. But, beware. It's about sex, the oral kind, and vibrators, and radiation. Read on if you dare...
I am one of many lucky lucky girls that get to spend a good part of her week doing something hideous (besides working with the asshat) to to her body so that maybe she'll get a little more time to work with more asshats. I'm recovering from a little tiny touch of cancer. Not the worst form, but this one's been a bitch from day one. I gained 78 pounds in about three months. It was water. I was pissed. Then I was terrified. Now I'm just sick.
I go to radiation twice a week and take an oral chemotherapy drug once a week. We've already killed most of the little nasties, but there are a few stragglers that need some attention. The radiation is insane. It makes me feel a little insane. I vomit before I go in and then at least a dozen times during the hours after I finish. Having been a former lush in high school and even college the art of the dry heave was perfected long ago. So, it hardly phases me anymore. I'm super thankful for all those boozy parties and how they prepared me for this horrid experience. (kidding).
The very best part of my time at the clinic is the conversation I get to overhear between the two nurses that have been involved in my treatment since day one. These two twenty something girls are hilarious. Not because they're funny. They're not all that funny, but they talk about the craziest shit. The conversation I overheard not too long ago went something like this:
nurse 1: "i have the funniest story to tell you. do you remember how i told you that my husband bought me a vibrator for christmas?"
nurse 2: "yes, and thanks for sharing that again because... gross"
nurse 1: "so we've been trying to figure out how to make things work a little bit better with it because it's been not so fun since the babies and stuff"
nurse 2: "and, again, thanks for sharing" (but she's laughing and clearly they've talked about this stuff before)
nurse 1: "so we were using it last night and were in a very awkward position so that he could get a better view and it got too close to his teeth and hit his two front teeth a few times and chipped them both. like big huge chips."
nurse 2 laughs so hard that she falls off of her stool on to the floor.
Poor nurse 1 deserves a better villain than a tooth chipping vibrator. But, since I've learned that the teeth are fixed and beautiful and the vibrator is a godsend and her husband is a freaky freak in the bedroom. Good for her!
I was so not a candyass yesterday. And, today, I've only been a partial one. I'm not brave all the time. Not as brave as I should be anyway. But tomorrow I'll be extra brave because I have to be done with the asshat. It's exciting. It's my first step toward Honey. That'll be a new chapter. I'll tell you all about it.
Peace out!
It's actually a good thing that I didn't post for a few days because I had a new awesome addition that is totally fitting for the second half of my villains post.
I've been consulting for a company for the last ten months. I stepped in to help them build their brand, tell their story, and help their customers connect with them. It was no easy task. The owners all played creative director here and there. They spent three times what they should have because they would not focus. I should have stepped away as soon as I was finished delivering the brand and marketing strategy. I stayed. Easy money, what can I say. But the last three months have been torture.
One of the owners has turned in to a the micro-manager from the deepest darkest depths of shitty boss hell. He doesn't just follow up on things here and there, he follows up on everything and peppers me and everyone else with texts and calls and emails at all hours of the day and night. Yesterday I was out with my kids and he shot multiple texts at me about something completely trivial. He was annoyed that my answers came several minutes after his questions and he let me know it. I finally just asked him why he didn't have anything better to do with his time because I was out enjoying the beautiful day with my kids and I really had no intention of doing a moment of work on my Saturday. I didn't stop there.
I explained to him in a very strongly worded response that it has been a challenge to work with him because he does not trust others and because he never seems to be busy doing anything productive. He spends a lot of time bouncing from office to office talking to the few of us at the company about what we're doing every day. He sucks up hours of my time discussing things that have nothing to do with him. I believe that he simply does not know how to do what he has to do to make his company a success. This is a brand new company. He believes that running it requires him to be on top of every little teeny tiny detail. Unfortunately, this is the thing that will likely assist in his failure faster than anything else. You must trust the people you hire to do the work you pay them to do. Great managers participate but not in the minutia.
He's kind of an asshat, this guy. He's erratic and unpredictable on his good days. And, on his bad days he just doesn't show. He may be there, but he doesn't do anything. This is the guy who asked if we could change our logo two months in to shipping product. Ummm, dude, the answer is hell no. He demanded that we explore options anyway. Guess what? 25k later we stuck with the original logo. Did I say asshat? It's a way better word than douche. It's funnier. I've called him captain doucheypants for the last several months. But, asshat is my new favorite. I so deserve a better villain. Someone a little more interesting anyway. He bores me.
The last bit of this tale of shitty villains is rather funny. But, beware. It's about sex, the oral kind, and vibrators, and radiation. Read on if you dare...
I am one of many lucky lucky girls that get to spend a good part of her week doing something hideous (besides working with the asshat) to to her body so that maybe she'll get a little more time to work with more asshats. I'm recovering from a little tiny touch of cancer. Not the worst form, but this one's been a bitch from day one. I gained 78 pounds in about three months. It was water. I was pissed. Then I was terrified. Now I'm just sick.
I go to radiation twice a week and take an oral chemotherapy drug once a week. We've already killed most of the little nasties, but there are a few stragglers that need some attention. The radiation is insane. It makes me feel a little insane. I vomit before I go in and then at least a dozen times during the hours after I finish. Having been a former lush in high school and even college the art of the dry heave was perfected long ago. So, it hardly phases me anymore. I'm super thankful for all those boozy parties and how they prepared me for this horrid experience. (kidding).
The very best part of my time at the clinic is the conversation I get to overhear between the two nurses that have been involved in my treatment since day one. These two twenty something girls are hilarious. Not because they're funny. They're not all that funny, but they talk about the craziest shit. The conversation I overheard not too long ago went something like this:
nurse 1: "i have the funniest story to tell you. do you remember how i told you that my husband bought me a vibrator for christmas?"
nurse 2: "yes, and thanks for sharing that again because... gross"
nurse 1: "so we've been trying to figure out how to make things work a little bit better with it because it's been not so fun since the babies and stuff"
nurse 2: "and, again, thanks for sharing" (but she's laughing and clearly they've talked about this stuff before)
nurse 1: "so we were using it last night and were in a very awkward position so that he could get a better view and it got too close to his teeth and hit his two front teeth a few times and chipped them both. like big huge chips."
nurse 2 laughs so hard that she falls off of her stool on to the floor.
Poor nurse 1 deserves a better villain than a tooth chipping vibrator. But, since I've learned that the teeth are fixed and beautiful and the vibrator is a godsend and her husband is a freaky freak in the bedroom. Good for her!
I was so not a candyass yesterday. And, today, I've only been a partial one. I'm not brave all the time. Not as brave as I should be anyway. But tomorrow I'll be extra brave because I have to be done with the asshat. It's exciting. It's my first step toward Honey. That'll be a new chapter. I'll tell you all about it.
Peace out!
0 comments:
Post a Comment