My 2 year old consumed a tiny bowl of sugar and drank straight from a miniature pitcher of cream at a very brief lunch we shared with my highly entertaining friend Melissa. Sam kinda stole the show. I am sure that the Mother of The Year award is not far off.
OK, so that will never ever happen. But, I have a mother and she was Teacher of the Year last year. Let me tell you, she earned that stupid little plaque on her wall and the big bonus that went with it. She teaches special education and she loves it. Best of all, they love her. It is absolutely what she was meant to do. I have always been proud of her. She works harder than anyone I know and continues to take on extra projects, provide extra service, and make time for her kids, all six of us, and her sixteen grandchildren. She's remarkable.
She's also funny as hell and she has more stories than any single person I know. Earlier today we were sitting around her big dining room table listening to the funny stories of the week from the oldest grand kids. One of them said something that none of us can remember because my mom started to laugh until tears were rolling out of her eyes and down her cheeks. This alarmed the babies and the dog. They were all crying too. We just waited for the story. And, it was so worth it.
She has a study hall period for kids to come in and get a little bit of extra help with math or science, or anything they may be struggling with. She has a group of girls that come in and use a corner to study together. They mostly talk about boys and other girls. The last time came in they were passing a bottle of lotion around and talked about how great it smelled and how soft it made their skin and how much certain boys liked it. These are 16 year old girls that may not be as witty as the slutty cheerleaders on Glee but the voices are a dead match. Somewhere during the conversation one of the girls explained that she got the bottle of lotion from her mom and that the coolest part about it was that it was also edible. She then reads from the bottle "Good for an intimate midnight snack." And some girls sampled!
My mom was sitting at her desk texting the teacher in the room next door a play by play of this conversation. They decide she needs to confiscate this bottle of lotion and encourage the girls to study. She takes the bottle and puts it on her desk and takes a few photos of it so that she doesn't forget. The funniest part, for me, was that the name of this product was Cream & Sugar edible body lotion.
I suppose that even funnier than that is the fact that it first belonged to her mother. My mom will never look at that parent the same again. She's no Candyass though, she'll still look her dead in the eye and be fair, but she might giggle a little at the same time.
Can't really fault anyone for keeping a little sizzle in their life, but for giving a little bit of the sizzle to a kid is totally stupid and terribly comical.
OK, so that will never ever happen. But, I have a mother and she was Teacher of the Year last year. Let me tell you, she earned that stupid little plaque on her wall and the big bonus that went with it. She teaches special education and she loves it. Best of all, they love her. It is absolutely what she was meant to do. I have always been proud of her. She works harder than anyone I know and continues to take on extra projects, provide extra service, and make time for her kids, all six of us, and her sixteen grandchildren. She's remarkable.
She's also funny as hell and she has more stories than any single person I know. Earlier today we were sitting around her big dining room table listening to the funny stories of the week from the oldest grand kids. One of them said something that none of us can remember because my mom started to laugh until tears were rolling out of her eyes and down her cheeks. This alarmed the babies and the dog. They were all crying too. We just waited for the story. And, it was so worth it.
She has a study hall period for kids to come in and get a little bit of extra help with math or science, or anything they may be struggling with. She has a group of girls that come in and use a corner to study together. They mostly talk about boys and other girls. The last time came in they were passing a bottle of lotion around and talked about how great it smelled and how soft it made their skin and how much certain boys liked it. These are 16 year old girls that may not be as witty as the slutty cheerleaders on Glee but the voices are a dead match. Somewhere during the conversation one of the girls explained that she got the bottle of lotion from her mom and that the coolest part about it was that it was also edible. She then reads from the bottle "Good for an intimate midnight snack." And some girls sampled!
My mom was sitting at her desk texting the teacher in the room next door a play by play of this conversation. They decide she needs to confiscate this bottle of lotion and encourage the girls to study. She takes the bottle and puts it on her desk and takes a few photos of it so that she doesn't forget. The funniest part, for me, was that the name of this product was Cream & Sugar edible body lotion.
I suppose that even funnier than that is the fact that it first belonged to her mother. My mom will never look at that parent the same again. She's no Candyass though, she'll still look her dead in the eye and be fair, but she might giggle a little at the same time.
Can't really fault anyone for keeping a little sizzle in their life, but for giving a little bit of the sizzle to a kid is totally stupid and terribly comical.
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