Standing in line for Buzz Lightyear with Sam is one of my favorite things at Disneyland. He can recite along with the life size Buzz in the entry. Last week he was doing it subconsciously while I was holding him and not paying attention to what he was reaching for. Finally my mommy radar kicked in and I pulled his hand away before he stuck his finger the the GIANT hole in the earlobe of the man standing in front of us. It was like a magnet. He resisted me I started to laugh, then cough, then the tears started rolling down my cheeks. Sam was sure he was going to pull that low hanging earlobe down because it "wobbled to and fro" could tie it in a knot or tie it in a bow."
The guy was probably in his early 40s. He'd clearly put those huge things in his earlobes. I don't even know what they call them, but they are horrid and there should be a caution sign at places that do those for people that says "you may want to think about how lame you'll look in line at Buzz Lightyear when you're 40 with giant holes in your earlobes" before you go forward with this terrible terrible decision.
Later in the week I was in the elevator heading down to the lobby with Sam and Molly. We stopped on the 8th floor and a woman walked in with a shirt that said STR8 for PROP8. It made my skin crawl. I totally support marriage between people who love each other. And no, I do not mean plural... that's just plain ridiculous. She also had a giant pink bow in her hair and hot pink velour sweatpants with PINK on the butt. It was one of those moments when you might not be surprised if What Not To Wear ambushed that girl right then and there. But, before Stacy and Clinton could run on to the elevator and grab her and show her the horrible fashion footage they'd been collecting, another woman(?) got on the elevator. It took me the rest of the ride down to see that she was, in fact, a woman. And, then I spotted the rainbow triangle tattoo on the inside of her forearm. And, then I saw her face staring at that stupid shirt the other woman had on. And again... laugh, hold breath, snort, tears. You have to admit, that is funny. She could have torn the pink prissy one right up. Sadly, no girl fight in the elevator.
BUT, there was a girl fight later that night during the new holiday parade at Disneyland. We were not planning on seeing it at all, but we got stuck on the way to Small World. We did not plan on doing that ride at all, but somehow Sam remembered it from our last trip and demanded it so fiercely that it could no longer be denied. Waiting through the parade was horrible. He was so angry when they blocked the street to small world. But, when the ugly step sisters came trotting down the street, he squealed like a little piggy. They kept smacking each other and pushing each other all over the street. Of course they start trotting again the second I start filming.
I stopped and the one in yellow was on her way over to deck the one in pink one more time. They were definitely the highlight of the Disney character onslaught of 2011. Bring on the villains, they're our favorite. And, we do appreciate a decent girl fight from time to time.
Disneyland was an adventure as always. I have plenty of other stories from the trip, but most of them include whiny grandparents and I'm trying hard to purge my brain of their silly tantrums.
Dancing and my induction in to the stage mom cult will follow...
